On My First Year as a Dominatrix

Yesterday I celebrated my one year anniversary as a Professional Dominant. The date is slightly arbitrary as I had already been working as a kinky companion and creator for years, but I decided an official date to celebrate and reflect on my progress was important for me. April 6th marks the week that I had my first real, planned out sessions as a Dominant instead of my usual kinky bookings which were usually last minute and with no real power dynamic.

I’m incredibly proud of myself for making the leap into my dream career despite the lack of support and infrastructure for professional BDSM in Adelaide. It’s taken a lot of passion, dedication and intelligence to be able to move into this line of work safely and effectively. My main stumbling block has been how difficult it is to find mentorship (something that most Dommes traditionally begin their careers with.) I was lucky enough to find a mutual friend who was classically trained at Salon Kitty’s, and then in what felt like a grand joke from the universe, she passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.

Chasing my dream against all these odds has only reinforced how badly I want this. I didn’t enter this line of work - especially in Adelaide - with the idea that it would be easy, but it has been rewarding. I’ve grown into myself and become much more confident as a Dom and as a person. Every session I have makes me feel more like this work is my life’s calling. The support I’ve seen from my community and the feedback I’ve received from clients has only solidified the idea that I need to be doing this. 

However, I’ve already hit a wall with my training as there are no Pro Dommes to train under - or even many formal classes - in Adelaide. I’m lucky to have friends in the scene and my own submissive to practise with, but more intense activities like medfet and breathplay will have to wait until I’m interstate. Having no dungeon for hire, no dedicated leather stores and the most regressive laws around sex work in the country are also factors that make my working in SA needlessly difficult. It’s highly unlikely that any of this will change soon, given the political and economic landscape. There’s only so much a young Dominatrix can grow here.

In my second year as a Pro Domme, and likely my last year based in Adelaide, I’d like to move away from presenting myself as a generic ‘baby Domme’ and move towards a truer representation of myself. I’ve found that I don’t naturally fit into the old-fashioned idea some clients have of a Dominatrix where I’m assumed to be cold, strict and sexless. I love submissives - I’m a lifestyle Daddy - I’m playful and perhaps even bratty at times in scenes, and I’m a sensual Dominant who enjoys using my sexual power over men. 

All of these traits are my strengths as a lifestyle Dominant, and it no longer makes sense for me to develop a fake persona to pander to men who claim to want a Dominant, sadistic woman. I’m also queer and naturally very androgynous in appearance - again, why am I hiding this to appeal to men who claim to care about my pleasure and comfort? The more I embrace my true, uncensored self; the more confident I become and the more dominant I feel. I trust that clients looking for a real Dom will be drawn to the power that that kind of authenticity gives me.